


Recognition

by itsferrisbtw



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depersonalization, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, Panic, Ranboo Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Self Monolouge, WAIT THATS A TAG???, how do i tag this lmao, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:41:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsferrisbtw/pseuds/itsferrisbtw
Summary: NOTE- THIS IS NOT A SHIP MINOR FIC. I AM STATING THIS NOW AND NOW ONLY. RANBOO AND TUBBO ARE ONLY FRIENDS BECAUSE THOSE R CHILDRENOKONTO THE FICAlso what the fuck its so hard to try an tag bc idk what to tag this as lmaooo N E WAYS THE PROMPT GIVEN TO ME IS ON THE BOTTOM
Relationships: Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	Recognition

_ why couldn't he remember? _

_ Why couldn't he think back? _

Trembling hands dug deep into the sand that Ranboo had usually considered comfort, as of then. The cold ice edging near where the sand and water connected, and his mind was nowhere, but lost. He didn't know what had happened that day- or the past few days, except the trembling of what he knew shocked his core, the explosions of what him and his friends considered home.. but this was all, so very vague to him. He shook, but for what? The shimmering cracks on the seen ice, but where was he even at? 

Tubbo called this place something… something he couldn't really remember. The house that sat behind him had a warm feeling from the looks of things, but he never dared to step in.  _ Don't break your own comfort, don't break the string that ties you to your emotions-  _ **_but what if it wants to be broken?_ ** _ \- it can't be. It's not right he- can't break habits. He can't break habit's. He  _ **_can't break normalcy_ ** _. Why can't you? You had every choice to follow your home but you broke it-  _ **_you broke everything that was meaningful to you and look where you are now._ **

Normalcy was the only thing he could hold.

It was the only thing that stuck true.

Sitting alone in the cold, familiar sand that he placed himself as a place of calm, a place of grounding… he wasn't entirely aware he wasn't really, alone. From the woods behind the house, he was unaware Tubbo was there collecting supplies for Snowchester, and the homing he'd built. For a new home, rather than what remained of the untouched remains of L'manburg. It didn't feel like home, anymore. Even if he did his best in being president, he couldn't fill the shoes he was given. And easy to say, plenty was his fault. But nothing, was unsalvageable.

The soft steps on the frosted grass, and soon leading onto the sand, Tubbo stopped. Even in the lowering sun, his friend Ranboo being here… was more of a surprise than he expected. The hold on the wood he held had loosened, gently placing them in a storage box outside the house as he watched his tall friend, sat still in the sand. There was no sound, from the enderman hybrid. The mixed hair tangled in his own desperate hands to have a grasp on something familiar. He had no idea Ranboo already knew this place… 

"... Ranboo…?" 

He spoke up, stopping at the start of the sand as the taller had remained how he was. But silence had filled the space that occupied the two… it worried him. Even before the beginning of the end for L'manburg, Tubbo held close of Ranboos memory book. The kind comments, it held of near to… everyone. He knew now he himself was blind. To Ranboos empty glass of loyalty. But loyalty was nothing now, considering the state of everything. They were kids. They needed to live… right? 

He wouldn't hold it against him.

"... Tubbo, D-do… do you know where the memory book is…?" 

A shaken, lower voice had escaped Ranboo as Tubbo seemed surprised by the request. "Well, yeah! I kept it for safe keeping after you trusted me with it… I wouldn't lose something so- significant, to you…" the shorter offered a small, kind smile as he flinched a bit to his own bandages, but carefully pulled out Ranboos trusted memory book. He could sense the relief Ranboo had felt, when looking back up at him. A frightened, but kind smile of gratitude on his face. Carefully handing him the book, Tubbo stood by him for a moment as Ranboo grasped and held closely the book.

He almost seemed scared, to try and open it. Looking at it's smudged, burnt and scratched cover of messy handwriting had showed that it was well used, and frankly Tubbo was happy for him, for that… but a creeping thought had hid through the back of his mind. Would Ranboo remember the past few days? "... I wish i gave it sooner, than keep it… " Tubbo hummed in concern, but with not much response from Ranboo. He seemed so nervous to open it… this was something that Tubbo would never understand. What he goes through.

"Ranboo… can you tell me whats wrong?" Tubbo asked softly, even though he mostly knew. He wanted to be sure. But the taller had given a vague look of confusion to the sand below the both of them. "I can't... think back. I can't think back to what happened… I know- there was explosions and so much- but I don't know… I don't know. I don't know all I've done i don't know if I'm to blame- I don't know Tubbo..." He admitted, and the other stood silent. He didn't know Tubbo read the book, either… 

".. Maybe I know somewhere to help your memory. Can you join me for a moment?" Tubbo offered, holding out a scarred hand for the taller to grab. A kind, resting smile on his face as the others had visible confusion. But the hand was taken anyways, and soon helping Ranboo stand from the cold sand that he was sat in and walking to the edge of the water. "It's somewhere you've been before I think! Just a place with a lot of memory behind it, I think maybe that'd help!" Tubbo hummed, as Ranboo stayed quiet as the other prepared a boat, and soon the two were taking off again, from the direction he came from before. The place that didn't help matters any.

Even for the silence between them in the sea, it was better than being questioned on things he didn't know right then. He didn't know-  _ but he did know,  _ he just couldn't recall.  **You can't recall anything you've done because you don't want to admit it to yourself.** _ If there was truth to what you thought you would've known, wouldn't you?  _ **You could've been the one to do the explosions. You could've ruined your home.** _ But Tubbo holds nothing against you, you cant possibly have done it after ruining where he and others resided.  _ **_He could just be staying quiet._ **

Eventually, the boat had stopped as they were on the land again, where the air was heavy with the smell of gunpowder still after what was ruined. But Tubbo hadn't said a word, as he left the boat where it was. "it's not too far from here, just a bit more now Ran…" he reassured the taller one, that of which followed close behind him with a worried look on his face. Mental conflictions weren't fun.. 

With the clear night sky, the heavy smell of gunpowder, and for reassurance having his wrist held by Tubbo, he was lead through the cleaner looking part of… L'manburg. What wasn't damaged, but never felt like home to begin with. Tubbo was going on about something, but the words seemed so distant that he didn't quite catch anything he said. He would ask him about it later… 

And eventually, they stopped.

An aged tree, a bench, the home that once was Tommys… Tubbo looked up at him as he cracked a smile. "here we are! Somewhere we all go after something… big, happens. One too many times, huh?" Tubbo laughed a little, Ranboo cracking a smile to the joy Tubbo was putting on. For him… he couldn't thank him enough, even if hes the fault for so, so much… so much he himself didn't know. Tubbo had let go of his wrist, and soon had placed down an Ender chest near the tree, and shuffling around inside of it before pulling out a particular disc. Popping the said disc inside the jukebox, a  familiar sound had begun to play, and the two sat in silence for a moment… 

"If you need to, you can borrow the chest, if theres anything you need to grab to remember…" Tubbo offered, sitting himself on the bench and patiently waiting for Ranboo. But surprisingly, he actually did take the offer. The taller looking through the ender chest, soon seeing the random stuff here and there- until he saw what he was looking for. A memory sketch book. Gently grabbing it with its respective pencil, he soon shut the chest again with a light sigh. 

"Tubbo… I need to admit something to you. Something I don't even note in my book- I think…" he spoke softly, going to sit by him as he placed the memory book to the side, and the sketchbook on his lap. "Well, go ahead! I won't tell a soul.." he promised, as the taller flipped through some of the pages… until finding the page he was looking for. A page full of  **them.** Everyone. Or- what Tubbo guessed to be everyone. "When I first came here… I didn't want to tell anybody when I had a hard time with names, and could really only identify by voice or looks. I can't recognize people by faces… I don't know why, i just can't… so i had this book to remind me about everyone's colors, and their voices…"

"That ones me!!" Tubbo lightly exclaimed as he pointed to the one with the watercolored green shirt, and messy blond coloured hair. All of them, had no faces. There was blue on Tubbos face, but no defining eyes, or facial structure. Though, Tubbo noticing this had made the taller laugh a little. "Yeah… that's you! And there's Tommy… " the two had chattered for a moment, as to point out who was who, and what made them recognizable. The most prominent, though, was Dream. He was a simple green mass, with an aggressively drawn smile on the blob. Watercolor had bled through the paper, as there was a vivid purple marked around the blob, and him alone that had clearly torn through the paper. 

"And that's dream…" The shorter had stated, his voice softer in tone.. after what happened, he didn't exactly want to think about everything he failed in. How much his trust an duty was stepped on. How he was the worst president out of all that existed, here… "I know, he has an outfit more than this… but- this is just. How I see him… how he is to me…" "But.. he doesn't wear purple." "I don't think he's just green, Tubbo… I think he's worse, and we're just seeing the shell..." Ranboo explained, but seemed to have surprised himself in what he said. 

"seeing the shell..." 

Tubbo had repeated, as the two looked out what remained past the bench. Untouched of what happened…  _ untouched, for now. _

"What do you thinks under the shell, Ranboo…?" He asked, looking up at him as Ranboo himself wasn't really sure. "I don't know… I just have a feeling, we're not seeing the worst of him." He mumbled, but something tugged at him inside. Was Dream really  _ bad? _ Techno- he helped Techno, right? Dream helped Techno, and Techno was good…

Right? 

All of it made his head hurt, trying to remember so much. He didn't know. He didn't know what he wanted to know, and it scared him. Holding his head, the two sat in silence for a moment as Tubbo didn't want to make the process any worse for him than it already was. They were just **kids.** They didn't… they shouldn't, of gone through this. All of them had contributing factors, but Tubbo wanted to make things right.

Make things peaceful, again.

The soft chatter that had went on for quite some time, was vague to Ranboos memory. As much as he wouldve wanted to remember it, the pounding pain in his head wouldn't allow it. Tubbo had good intention, but he didn't know the bench was making things worse for Ranboo than back at Snowchester. 

It was a slow opening of Ranboos eyes, as he wasn't sure what was really going on. The pain in his back, and being curled up on a  _ bench  _ of all places to sleep… the sunlight gently faded itself into the branches from the tree, and the light hitting across his face and crown… it made him sit up, rubbing his eyes rather harshly, as he was left in silence. 

The memory book and the sketchbook, both used as a comfort for his head.

Tubbo, was gone.

The breeze, blowing through the tree and shifting its branches, letting its leaves fall gently to the ground, and looking upon a place he didn't consider home…

_ Did any of that conversation ever really happen? _

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt given - (from CENSORED USER) so its a minecraft/dreamSMP au and person a has just made it to the bench that they sit on, and they’re going to show it to person b and they sit and chat then person a wakes up on the bench and alone :D A N G S T
> 
> Personal note: LET ME BE HONEST: I READ BENCH AS BEACH AT FIRST AND SO I WAS RLLY CONFUSED BUT I STILL MADE IT WORK


End file.
